BETTER FAMILY
О
ОФ
і
як \
Plan of attack
H ere’s w h at to do if yo u r
ch ild is b ein g cyb erb u llied
(or is cyb erb u llyin g):
і
A few cities— New York, Seattle,
Omaha— have followed Baltimore’s “digital
hygiene” approach, introducing curriculums
that directly address cyberbullying.
Approximately 20 states have statutes on the
books mandating cyberbullying policies.
These new lessons are looking a lot
like those at Assumption, a parochial
school in Wood-Ridge, New Jersey. “We
are always talking about Internet safety,”
says technology teacher Maggie Sullivan.
When it comes to social networking— and
cyberbullying in particular— she has found
that kids, especially, like anonymity.
“ Kids are often afraid to talk to their
parents because they’re afraid they’ll take
away the technology,” she says. “ Promise not
to make it worse,” agrees Aftab, who found
that only 5 percent of middle schoolers polled
for StopCyberbullying.org said they would
tell their parents they were being bullied.
PUT IT IN PARENTING
That said, there are things parents can do.
Timothy Sparapani, director of public policy
for Facebook, urges teens to report problem
users immediately, explaining that confiden-
tial report links are available throughout the
site. “And be very careful who you ‘friend,’”
he says. “ Some kids friend whoever asks them
because they don’t want to be considered
rude. It’s perfectly OK for kids to ignore or
decline a friend request. It’s not OK to accept
friend requests from strangers.”
Most important, urge your kids to confide
in you if they’re being bullied. “ Promise
not to make it worse,” says Aftab, who is
skeptical about the law’s ability to solve this
social problem. That worked for Mary Lou
Handy when her daughter was cyberbullied
five years ago and schools didn’t have a
protocol. Today, she spends three weeks a
year teaching Ridgewood, New Jersey, middle
school students about the issue. “They know
cyberbullying is wrong and they know what
to do about it,” says Mary Lou, who regularly
tells her students, “ If 10 of you stand up to
him, chances are the bully will stand down.” ■
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Hug your child and
reassure him or her that
everything w ill be OK as
long as you talk about it.
Take a breath. Remind
your child not to
respond to taunts. Come
up w ith a game plan.
(If you know the other
child’s parents w ell
enough, think about
m aking a casual phone
call: “ Looks like the kids
are at it again. Can you
talk to Jimmy?” )
Note to Jim m y’s mom:
Don’t freak out. Seventy
percent o f kids have
cyberbullied. Don’t
assum e he’s a bad seed.
Find out details. D iscuss
options: a détente,
conversation, apology.
Teach your child to stop,
block, and tell. This
m eans stop exchanging
m essages w ith the bully,
blocking or unfriending
him or her, and telling a
trusted adult.
In serious situations,
m eet w ith a guidance
counselor to discuss
school policy and come
up w ith a plan. If you
don’t get resolution, go
to the police.
Hug your child and
reassure him or her that
telling you w as the right
thing to do.
F ro m S to p C y b e r b u lly in g .o r g
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